St. Paul's Cathedral

I stumbled into St. Paul’s cathedral, panting one word over and over.

“Sanctuary.”

I attempted to stand in the glory of the cathedral, but my legs gave out. I fell over backwards and found myself marveling in the construction of the church. I was particularly fond of the ceiling, since that was all I could see. I noticed the intricacies of the beams and etchings and colors involved, and gazed up at the famous dome of St. Paul’s.

A bishop, monk, or whatever he was knelt by my side and asked if I was alright. I was clearly in some kind of peril, but chose not to point out the obvious answer to the kind holy man. I explained my dire situation to Brother Benjamin. A thirty-something with a kind face and heavy brow, he listened to my every word. I explained how all the king’s horses and all the king’s men were searching for the man who stole her highness’ favorite socks.

“Her what?”

I told Brother Benjamin it was true; apparently some mastermind was able to penetrate the queen’s defenses and got access to her room and sock drawer. Not meaning any harm, he left with only a pair of socks and tried slipping out. The guards spotted him departing and started chasing him.

“So why are they after you?”

I told Brother Benjamin that the thief ran past me, and I happened to catch a glimpse of him, and realized he could have been my double. We both had the same curly brown hair and two-week old beard. Though we were wearing different clothes, I didn’t rely on the guards’ good sides, and ran in a different direction. I was spotted myself, and they chased me here.

“Why don’t you just try explaining to them what happened?”

I told Brother Benjamin that if I attempted to explain it to them, they would ask for proof that I wasn’t wearing the queen’s socks.

“So?”

I told Brother Benjamin that I was too embarrassed to show off my feet, since my left foot is significantly smaller than the right one. It is a practical hoof, and I never show anyone – not even my girlfriend.

“I’m sure it’s fine, let me take a look at it, son,” The kind monk took off my shoe before I could react and then gasped. The diamond-studded gold sock gleamed in the candlelight’s of the cathedral. It was on a perfectly good foot.
“What the Hell is this?”

I told Brother Benjamin that sometimes I’m a compulsive liar.